Can Men Still Exist Here?
When “just being honest” about women’s bodies stops being harmless.
Moderator Note: Ryan_30 emailed this at 2 AM after reading Jen's post. He says he was "concerned about the direction of the blog." I am publishing it because rejecting it would make me a liar about this being a messy, open space. Consider this your warning: the comments are open. Do not threaten violence. Everything else is fair game. Sam
By Ryan_30
I have been reading this blog since Jody’s first post. I stayed quiet. I watched the comments. I watched BeachBum_Mike get dragged for offering practical advice. I read Jen’s post about the guy at the beach who told her he loved her body type. And I have to ask: when did nudism become a space where male appreciation is the enemy?
Let me be clear. I was not the guy at the beach. I do not know him. I was not there. But reading Jen’s account, I keep coming back to one thing: he gave her a compliment. He said he loved a woman of her size and body type. Yes, he sat on her towel. Yes, he asked a personal question. Those were missteps. But the core offense was noticing her body and saying so out loud.
Since when is that a violation?
I am thirty years old. I have been a nudist for five years. I believe in body acceptance for everyone. But body acceptance apparently does not include accepting that men are attracted to women. It does not include accepting that nudity is, among other things, a visual experience. We are all naked here. We see each other. And if a man expresses that he finds a woman’s body beautiful, he is immediately branded a fetishist or a predator.
Jody felt invisible because she is older. I get that. It sucks. But the solution is not to make men afraid to speak to women. The solution is not to label every interaction between a man and a woman as some kind of power abuse. Nudist spaces are neutral ground. You bring your own comfort. If you expect the world to adjust to your triggers, maybe social nudity is not for you. That is not cruelty. That is reality.
The guy at the beach probably meant well. He probably thought he was being supportive of a body type that gets ignored in mainstream media. Instead, he got turned into a villain on the internet. And now every man reading this is thinking: if I say anything to a woman here, I could be next.
I am posting this because someone has to say it. The men on this blog are watching. We are reading. And we are getting the message that our voices are unwelcome unless we are apologizing for existing.
My name is Ryan. I am thirty. I am a man who appreciates women. And I am tired of being told that makes me dangerous.
