To Jody, With Thanks
When a forty‑four‑year‑old divorcee follows Jody’s footsteps to a nude resort and finds the welcome Jody deserved the first time.
Moderator Note: We hit 10,000 views this week. I have been deleting death threats and approving comments from people who found us because a friend sent them Jody’s post. Jody, you started this. Clara wrote this for you. Sam
To Jody, With Thanks
By Clara_44
I read your post at two in the morning while eating cold spaghetti over the sink. I am forty-four years old, divorced, and I have not been naked in front of anyone since my ex-husband told me my stomach made him sad. I have been fat since puberty, and I have been ashamed since approximately three minutes before that.
Your post wrecked me. I sat on my kitchen floor with a fork in my hand and cried because you described the exact fear I have been carrying: that my body is a rude interruption in other people’s nice day.
I almost did not go. I found a small resort two hours north of me. Family-run. No volleyball photos. Just an old website with a phone number. I called, and a woman named Barb answered. I said, “I am nervous, and I am fat.” She said, “Honey, we have fat, skinny, tall, short, and one guy with a prosthetic leg who wins at poker every Saturday. Come on Tuesday. It is quiet on Tuesdays.”
I drove there expecting your story. Expecting the stares, the silence, the grocery-store smile.
Instead, a man in his seventies helped me carry my chair to a spot in the shade. He did not ask why I brought so many towels. He just said, “You will want one for your neck. The sun is mean today.” A woman about my age asked if I wanted to join their card game. I said I did not know how to play. She said, “Perfect. We need someone to blame when we lose.” A kid, maybe sixteen, asked if I wanted a lemonade from the cooler. He looked me in the eyes. He did not look away from my body. He looked at me like I was a person who might be thirsty.
I stayed six hours. I have not stayed anywhere for six hours in years without wanting to apologize for taking up space.
Jody, I am telling you this because your post is the reason I went. Your honesty made my fear feel smaller. And I need you to know that place you visited? It is not all of them. There are spots where a fat, middle-aged divorcee can sit by a pool and nobody treats her like furniture. They treat her like a neighbor.
I do not know if you will try again. I would not blame you if you did not. But if you do, I will drive to wherever you are, and I will sit next to you with my stomach folding over itself, and I will remind you that we are not wrong. We are just early to a party that has not yet learned to welcome us.
My name is Clara. I am forty-four. I am naked right now, but this time I am smiling.
